hope

 

I forgot to post this when I wrote it in december, but I really like it so i'm posting it now!

Hope:the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.

 what is hope? It's knowing somewhere deep inside yourself that even though something may be really hard and hurt you alot, and you may not understand it, or why you have to go through it, you believe that it will get better. Somehow. That's my definition of hope. Even when you can see no light at the end of the tunnel, it's knowing that the light will come, just maybe not when you want it to. I think the thing that scares so many people about hope is what it can turn into: Dissapointment,because sometimes even after you've hoped so hard for something it doesn't happen. So why have hope? Why set yourself up for the possibility of being dissapointed? Because if you don't have hope, then what else do you have except for despair? Sure hope can hurt you but at least it gives you something to look forward to, it gives you a purpose. If you don't hope you despair and that gives you nothing, no light at the end of the tunnel. Despair is dark with nothing to look forward to ever. So I am choosing to hope, to hope for things that may seem impossible, to hope that things will work out somehow, especially in the situations that I have absolutley no control over. I will hope, it may end up in dissapointment, and that will hurt. alot. But if I don't have hope then I will never be able to be truly happy, and move on from the things that hurt me. So I'm going to have hope. That was kind of a random tangent, but it's something that I've been thinking a lot about lately. And ironically one of my roommates gave me a bracelet for Christmas that says hope on it. Or maybe it's not so ironic... I honestly believe that God see's every little detail of our lives, and he cares about every little thing. And that is amazing to me. Just when I start to forget that he shows me once again that he knows everything and that he cares, and it amazes me every single time. Heavenly father cares about me, he cares about little old boring me. And not only does he care, he loves me even with all of my imperfections. Sometimes I feel like Anastasia when Vlad tells her to look in the mirror and asks her what she sees and she says, "I see a skinny little nobody with no future, and no past." And to the rest of the world I may be a skinny little nobody, but to God I matter. And speaking of the future, I really don't know where it's going to take me and that's scary. But I have to put my trust in God and know that he will take me where I am supposed to go. I have to trust, and have hope.

Salt Lake City is so beautiful during Christmas time <3 I love looking at all the lights and beautiful nativity scenes every year.